Banished to the Castle

The Kilted Caddie explains why he was sent back to The Castle Course from his newly gained position down at The Old Course…

The famous Swilken Bridge at the Old Course in St. Andrews

Ok I’ll admit it. I have two massive and rather lofty golfing ambitions. One is to become a member of The Royal and Ancient in St Andrews and the other to be sent as a journalist to Augusta to cover the Masters.

The first is virtually a no-hoper. In fact, I would say that there is about as much chance of me being ‘put up’ for the R&A as me going up to Oxbridge or my hair growing back. For the kilted caddie is not in the Royal and Ancient’s good books at the moment, after I wrote an article for this publication, which resulted in my very nearly having my license withdrawn from the Links Trust and hence my livelihood.

At the start of last season, I was ushered into see a very serious and matter of fact looking Caddie Master who held a copy of the said article, alongside with what transpired to be my final letter of warning. Yes, I had been in trouble before when I painted a tongue in cheek picture of the typical St Andrews caddie drinking many pints of lager and smoking rather a lot. Apart from these literary infringements, I have a pretty unblemished history as a caddie on the Links, even a rather positive one if I may say myself.

Anyway, with my latest article I was now, by all accounts, touching the boundaries of bringing the ‘reputation of caddies into disrepute’. Slightly shocked and aggrieved I shared this with some friends who quite rightly pointed out if this was in fact possible?

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