With Santa Claus fattening up the reindeer and the European Tour preparing for its extended winter break, the world and its oyster is announcing its awards for the 2013 season. Never one to avoid jumping on a bandwagon, therefore, here are my prejudiced, personal and totally irrelevant "Jules Awards", based largely on my own observations.
It seems that many international viewers of European Tour golf are irritated by the incessant harping on, throughout the year, about the Ryder Cup, so what better place to start than with my plans for an alternative team selection for the biennial competition. This is done in conjunction with my nominations for "WAG of the Year". (WAG being an acronym "Wives and Girlfriends".)
The sole criterion for this selection is the beauty of the WAG. On this basis Grégory Bourdy is very high on the list with his stunning companion, Annabelle, who is a devoted and loving course-walker. Fellow Frenchman Raphael Jacquelin also makes the team, although his delightful Fanny is seen less often on the links now that she is a mother of multiple children. Graeme McDowell adds considerably to the golfing prowess of the team, by virtue of his charming new bride Kristin, and of course his fellow countryman Rory McIlroy qualifies as long as he is still dating Caroline Wozniacki. The hot – I am just talking golf here – Henrik Stenson is a must, with his faithful golf professional wife Emma a scenic addition to any team room.
Apparently England's Lee Slattery leaves most young ladies swooning and his current consort ensures his selection. Spain's José María Canizares is the son of a Ryder Cup player and in top form recently so he will certainly not let the side down with his beautiful Czech girlfriend Anna Bachanova. I am going to have to bend the usual qualifying criteria for my next two team members as they are not exactly European; in fact they are not European by any stretch of the imagination. I can get away with selecting Argentina's Estanislao Goya because he is dating a Scot. Carly Booth, a winner on the Ladies European Tour, is gorgeous by any definition, and along with Emma Stenson, will provide a useful team of advisers on the range. My penultimate choice is a couple with English roots, but both are officially South African. Thomas Aiken is short on match play experience, but his charming and voluptuous wife Katie is an excellent sports physiotherapist, thereby ticking another useful box for the team.
But there is no doubt that the first name on the team sheet is Spain's Pablo Larrazábal. His long time girlfriend Gala Ortin is a multi-lingual journalism graduate from Barcelona, who is chic, elegant, stylish and frankly drop-dead gorgeous; a unanimous vote sees her as "WAG of the Year".
No Oscar ceremony would be complete without "Best Comeback Player of the Year". With just two nominations England's David Howell is a worthy runner-up after his brilliant Dunhill Links triumph, seven harrowing years after his previous win. By the time you read this his wife Emily should have presented him with twins, so the enormous cash prize associated with this award will surely come in useful.
There is no question though that the statuette goes to Henrik Stenson, who has also surfed the troughs before returning to dominate world golf in the second half of 2013, achieving a double than has never before been done and will probably never be repeated; winning both the Tour Championship and FedEx Cup on the PGA Tour and the Tour Championship and Race to Dubai in Europe. Such magnificence may well earn him another award.
"Shot of the Year" is always a subjective judgment at the best of times, but I like great shots that have significance. Stephen Gallacher's holed second shot at the 70th hole in the Dubai Desert Classic effectively clinched victory over Richard Sterne. Brett Rumford's superb 200-yard 5-iron to set up an eagle and settle a three way play-off for the Ballantine's Championship in Seoul definitely deserves a mention, as does Justin Rose's 4-iron to the 72nd hole in the US Open, capping a week of sheer brilliance.
Henrik Stenson's fairway wood to the final hole of The Tour Championship in Dubai was the icing on a spectacular cake, but the jury has come down in favour of Phil Mickelson's extraordinary 3-wood to the par-5 17th on the Sunday of The Open Championship at Muirfield. He's actually hit all sorts of mesmerizing shots around the green too, but he was the only player amongst the title contenders to find that green (having hit 3-wood off the tee as well!) and it effectively sealed his first Open Championship, and fifth Major.
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