There are rules for spectators, with “Thou shalt not run” arguably the most prominent. Though this correspondent once saw Augusta members dashing hither and thither - it was in 2003 when they were trying to locate spectators for a two-tee start on the Friday - not too many others can break this particular commandment without a reprimand.
On a not-too-different tack, those who were there in 2007 will not forget the fate which awaited the man who fielded Palmer’s ceremonial drive when the great man’s golf ball trickled under the ropes and practically into his hands.
Still on the tee, Palmer’s caddie was saying that the recipient would treasure the missile for the rest of his life but, down where the ball had run out of life, a security official was intervening.
"Either you hand it over or you’ll be escorted from the ground,” he threatened the proud would-be owner. The culprit did not pause to double-check whether, if he went for the second option, he could take the memento with him. Instead, he handed it over without making even the beginnings of a protest.
Palmer knew nothing of such goings on. By then, he was on his way back to the clubhouse, albeit not before he had stopped to wish good luck to Ian Poulter and Billy Mayfair, who had the first of the regular starting-times. “Play well, boys,” called this four-time Masters champion.
Much though the Augusta hierarchy frowns on running, they could often do with the players picking up a yard or two and are not slow to call for the slow coaches to be put on the clock. Not, mind you, that anyone said anything to Palmer when, in what was the first round of his 50th full Masters, he went at snail’s pace between greens and tees as old friends from Arnie’s Army wanted to shake his hand.
Woods, as many will recall, has had two very public dressing downs from Billy Payne, the club chairman. The first of them in 2003 after the world number one had earlier been pushed into admitting that the time had come for the club to admit black members. When Payne’s attention was drawn to the Tiger comment towards the end of his annual Wednesday conference, he let rip.
"I don’t tell Tiger how to play golf and he doesn’t tell us how to run his club,” was the Payne quote which loomed large in the Thursday morning papers - and all the more so in that that was the day when there was no play.
In 2010 Payne advised the world at large that Woods’ behaviour - 2010 was the winter of the womanising - had been reprehensible. “With fame and fortune come responsibility,” advised Payne. Tiger, he said, had disappointed them all.
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