Caddies Get Off on Lines

Imagine the scenario as you’re caddying in a group of four, and you have the bag of some imposing, slightly egotistical CEO, out with his major clients. It’s the first green and he has stormed his first putt and left a tricky four-footer. You have three other experienced caddies alongside who are looking on with glee. You are centre stage and time is running out, you are unsure, prevaricate and then say it’s left lip. However, he hits it there and it takes a break to the left! I mean that is catastrophic and humiliating and disastrous to be honest. But it can and does happen. I’ve seen it happen to the most long in the tooth of caddies. (even ones without teeth)

My player Mike yesterday, funnily enough, told me a story about an experience with his characterful 70-year-old Scottish caddie at Carnoustie. The chap had given a line of two balls left of the cup. Mike hit an atrocious putt which ended up seven feet left, As the other guys in the group putted out, his caddie whispered in his ear with his marvellous Scottish dialect and accent ‘you must hae some size ae balls doon there!’ Mike said it was a priceless comment and made his day.

Nowadays, with a few years’ experience under my belt I have improved but there is always the possibility of things going awry. And I suppose it keeps us on our toes and indeed it can define and illustrate our skill. But it is a complex thing too. For a putt to take your line it must be hit with the right pace. So of course, this is a minefield and is the most clever and subtle acid test of a person’s character, client and caddie alike. And it is a pity Shakespeare wasn’t hanging around when golf was invented. Or was he? Maybe it was too big a challenge for him? Left it to Wodehouse I suppose.

For the guy with humility and utter honesty will admit that he has pushed or pulled his putt. And that is music to the ears of a caddie. But then there is the bloke who will hit the said bad putt and put the blame on his caddie. This is not a good situation. It is a fait accompli and curtains for the hapless chap. He is force fed humble pie not of his making. I have seen a caddie walk off a course as a result.

So, if you see a caddie slightly the worse for wear in The Keys at some late hour, don’t be too judgemental. It’s not necessarily all beer and skittles for us. Well unless we’re driven to it. Or should I say ‘putt to it’?

But this is getting complex again. Give me a beer for goodness sake.