This month's column is devoted exclusively (well almost) to the fourth edition of the much-loved and eagerly anticipated "Jules Awards". But before highlighting some of the season's truly memorable moments and achievements let me start with a footnote. That is in itself an oxymoron, but bear with me a moment and my purpose will become obvious.
Even as last month's edition was flying off the newsstands, the great and the good of world golf were lining up at the WGC-HSBC Champions in Shanghai to explain their vision for the future. It was ironic, having berated the authorities in my last column about the lack of action regarding ball distance, that a major topic for discussion was just that, with the R&A's new chief executive, Martin Slumbers, saying they see no need for any action as distances have only increased by three or four yards in the last ten years. Assuming that to be correct, a big assumption, what was the point of their Papal Encyclical in 2002 saying "so far and no further"?
Apparently the number of players who hit it 320 yards (carry and roll) is in "single-digits". Who was doing that ten years ago apart from John Daly? Tiger Woods maybe, and it's rather more than a handful that can do it now anyway. (In Europe alone think Quiros, Colsaerts, Pieters, McIlroy, Rose, Bjerregard, Garcia and plenty more). The much revered and hugely respected commissioner of the PGA Tour, Tim Finchem, said that until 75 per cent of players hit it as far as Dustin Johnson and it starts to get boring, he sees no need for any action. The laws of libel prevent me from expressing a response to that and just incidentally if Joe Average is hitting it that far, what distance will the "new" Dustin Johnsons be hitting it? Over 400 yards? It's good to know that the game is in such safe hands ...
Drum roll, please. The first Jules Award goes to me. Somewhat narcissistically I'm awarding myself the trophy for Worst Dressed On Course Commentator. Ken Brown and Wayne Riley made the shortlist, but actually it was no contest.
Staying within the broadcast media, Rich Beem made a late bid for Commentator of the Year when he generously gave up his UBS Hong Kong Open place to Ian Poulter and then took to the box for the week. Despite his highly amusing and informed performance, the Jules has to go to Dominique Boulet once again for his unrivalled knowledge and expertise, his illuminating insights and entertaining delivery that see him perched loftily in the pantheon of commentators globally. That should settle my coaching bill, but joking aside, it is well deserved.
The Jules for Daft Injury of the Year goes to Rory McIlroy for twisting his ankle playing football, thereby excluding any possibility of a successful defence of either The Open or the PGA Championship. He also collects the award for Best Artifice for then convincing Keith Pelley, CEO of The European Tour, that he would be unable to achieve his required minimum of thirteen tournaments to remain a member and should therefore be permitted to qualify, playing only twelve. It all worked out for the Northern Irishman, of course, and he duly went on to claim the Race to Dubai title.
No awards ceremony can pass without a mention of Miguel Angel Jimenez. He collects The Jules for Depriving Colin Montgomerie of Another Lifetime Achievement by amassing a staggering three holes-in-one this season to go top of the list for career aces on the European Tour with ten, one ahead of Colin Montgomerie. Just by the bye, this season has seen an all-time record for holes in one with 46.The previous record was thirty nine.
I make the next award with genuine sadness. Martin Kaymer is one of the truly good blokes and it gives me no pleasure to hand over The Choke of the Year statuette for his inexplicable collapse in Abu Dhabi, a course where he has habitually thrived. Leading by ten shots with twelve holes to play he imploded to allow Frenchman Gary Stal (remember him?) to take the title. Even more worryingly, the apparently steely German surrendered another comfortable final-round lead in Italy. Needing only to shoot level par on a fairly easy back nine, he wobbled and subsequently lost a play-off to Sweden's Rikard Karlberg.
Kaymer, remember, is the man who's won a major wire-to-wire and nervelessly holed the winning putt at the Ryder Cup. Hopefully the brain surgeons have repaired the scar tissue by next season.
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